Well it’s finally here, the big 40, this is what 40 looks and feels like, this is the day when my life is going to begin, well that’s what they say anyway.
I have been waiting for this day for probably the last year. I know I’m suppose to dread everything about turning 40, but in some strange way, I don’t. I admit that there were days when the thought of being a 40 year old horrified me, I was actually scared, it just sounded so old. I remember when my mum turned 40 and thinking, she is really old now, but I’m sure my mum would agree, that you honestly don’t feel any different, I feel like I did 20 years ago, which just feels like yesterday.
How many times have you heard the saying, life begins at 40? The only reason I think as to why it is said so much is because it must be true. I can’t wait for my life to begin and it will start today.
There are downsides to turning 40, for me the main one is disappointment. I am disappointed in myself for losing myself, I wasn’t being aware that it was happening and now it has got to a point where I am aware, but I don’t know what to do about it. I always thought that by the time I turned 40 I would be happy and settled in an amazing job that I love and I would know exactly who I am and what my role in the world was, but as I sit here, writing this on the morning of my birthday none of the that has happened. My hope is that as of today, ‘the new beginning’ that this will soon change.
When I look at all the women that I admire and draw inspiration from, nearly every one of these women are over 40. Some are close to me others are famous , but they all carry the same attributes, they are all strong minded, independent and highly successful, everything that I aspire to be.
One of these inspirational women actually said something to me the other night which made me look at turning 40 in a much different way, she said that when she turned 40 she thought that if she lived until she was at least 80, then she was only half way through her life, half way on her journey and that the second half was going to be so much better because she was older, wiser and much more focused than she had ever been. She now knows exactly what she needed to do to fulfill the dreams and plans she had for her future. I have now had a couple of days to process what she said to me and I realise that she is so right, I have so much time. I am more positive and focused than I have been in my whole life and I have so much drive and determination to be happy, to live without regret, to succeed and to make my dreams a reality.
So, this is 40, I am not unhappy or depressed. I don’t feel old and I don’t feel like my life is over. I actually feel excited, I feel like as of this day my life is going to change and be all that I want it to be. I am going to find my dream career, my calling, I am going to be a strong independent woman and most of all I will be happy. In the process I hope I can inspire other women especially my two daughters.
I remember 10 years ago, when I turned 30, my life was so very different. I was really upset about turning 30, but my circumstances were completely different. I was living overseas, with no family living close to me, I had 2 girls, one 7 and the other one 2 and an amazing partner. We lived in a 2 bedroom flat on the third floor of an apartment block and I was again a stay at home mum. I didn’t have many friends, I was overweight, unfit and all I wanted to do was to move back home, back to Australia. In that last 10 years, I have come so far that I didn’t even realise it until now. I now have a little boy who is 5, our girls are now 17 and 12, we live in Australia again near all my family, we have built a 4 bedroom house, I am fit and healthy and have great friends. So the last piece of the puzzle is the job, that dream career that I am longing so much for. I have to believe that it will happen because 10 years ago I didn’t believe I would ever be back in Australia or that I would ever be able to buy a house. But I did it, I made all that happen with pure determination, so I know I can make my dream career happen as well.
So today is the start of my new life, it all begins today. I am no longer going to look back in the past and be disappointed. I will only look back at the great memories that I have created and everything that I have achieved so far, and I will focus on the future and look forward to creating new memories and achieving so much more than I could ever imagine.
The big 4 0, I have decided to embrace it, love it for what it is and to use it to my advantage. I’m not going to let it define me and I’m not going to let it make me sad because at the end of the day it is only a number, it’s not who I am, but it is going to help show me who I can be.
A mother of 3, Candy works part-time and juggles all the day to day commitments of life like all women. She has a love for shopping and writing and this can be seen in her talent for storytelling. Candy shares her life experiences with candor and flair.